War Against the Molar
by SqornshellousZeta
Summary: Remus has his last loose baby tooth. Now its up to his friends to help him pull it out. Please read and review.


I own nothing. Please review. Takes place at the end of their second year. The marauders already know Remus's secret. Enjoy!  
  
It was two o'clock in the morning on the last week of school and up in the Gryffindor second year boy's dormitory, four boys sat on the floor with a huge sheet over their heads and a lighted wand in the middle. The object of tonight's meeting was the wobbly tooth of Remus Lupin. The other three boys (who had already lost all their baby teeth) watched excitedly as Remus yanked and pulled on the molar. James who didn't mind blood had offered to pull it out, but quickly decided not to when he remembered the fact that Remus was sure to bite him if he pulled too hard. Sirius believed that James wanted to show the tooth to Lily and tell her that he pulled it out of a werewolf's head. Thus being named lord of the tooth and finally the redhead's hero. Remus glared at James and Sirius before resuming war on the tooth.  
  
The tooth did not budge.  
  
Peter began to grow uneasy as the rag Remus was using to yank on the tooth became more and more bloody. Remus let out a moan that sounded like 'I just wanna die', but could have been 'I must not tell lies' or from Sirius's and James's point of view, 'I want Dr. Pepper and fries'. Suddenly a light bulb lit over Sirius's head. The other three noticed Sirius had an idea and slowly began backing away from him. Sirius picked up his wand and muttered a spell. A small string appeared. Remus's eyes grew wide before he ran to his bed and pulled his covers over his head.  
  
"Come on, it'll be fun! We can do it tomorrow. First Remus will tie the string to his tooth and we'll tie the other end to a bludger. It's fool proof!" Sirius was practically jumping up and down with excitement.  
  
"You're a genius!" James exclaimed. Remus let out a long low growl from under his blankets.  
  
That next day, around lunch time James, Sirius and Peter walked triumphantly out into the quidditch pitch dragging Remus who was determinedly trying to pull the tooth out of his head. He eyed the trunk James was carrying fearfully and started to pull harder on the tooth. Finally they reached the middle of the field and James opened the trunk to reveal a struggling bludger. Sirius gave the string to Remus. Remus tied it into a miniature lasso, making sure to make the loop a little larger than the circumference of his tooth and slipped it on the molar from the underworld. He let out a sob and closed his eyes tightly as James attached the other end to the deadly quidditch ball.  
  
"Here it goes", James said letting go of the bludger just in time for the corner of his, Sirius and Peter's eyes to catch sight the redhead James had a crush on. She had a horrified look on her face and was yelling something. None of the other three marauders saw the bludger shoot straight into the air dragging Remus off his feet. The loop slipped off his tooth and he fell onto his back. Upon hearing the thump the three boys looked back to see their friend looking at them with the uttermost loathing. He had both hands over his mouth and seemed to be in immense pain. Lily rolled her eyes and went back into the castle seeing that Remus would get to the other two before she would.  
  
"You messed it up!" Sirius said with a look of shock. This was clearly not the smartest thing to say. Sirius let out a yelp before running from the rampaging werewolf.  
  
James and Peter watched in delight. James was happy because he enjoyed watching people scream and run for their lives. Peter was happy because this was the first time he had watched a fight and without being in and losing one. After about half an hour, Remus gave up. His mouth was still bleeding, but he refused to go to the infirmary. All he could think about was keeping people from pulling out his tooth and that the school year would end in six days so he could be free to wiggle his tooth in peace, but of course...  
  
James had an idea.  
  
"Hey! I have an idea! We could tie Remus to a tree, magically attach the tooth to the string part of a slingshot and slowly pull the handle away!" Peter looked at James with awe and a manic grin appeared on Sirius's face. Remus looked from James to Sirius to Peter fearfully and began running to the castle. It took five minutes for them to catch up with him and drag him to the nearest tree. Sirius went to find rope and James took out his handy-dandy slingshot. He looked at it fondly before handing it to Remus. Remus slipped the string around the loose, bottom, back, baby molar that already had the larger one growing up under it.  
  
'This is the last baby tooth you'll have to worry about' he chanted in his mind, while picking up his wand. He muttered the spell that would keep the string on the tooth with a trembling voice and closed his eyes tightly for the second time that day. He felt the rope being tied around him and the tree. This was it. James and Sirius pulled the handle.  
  
The tooth did not budge.  
  
Remus let out a cry of pain, which caught the attention of, who else, but McGonagall. She looked around to see Remus tied to a tree and James and Sirius pulling a slingshot that was attached to Remus's mouth. The transfiguration teacher's eyes grew wide.  
  
"SIRIUS BLACK, JAMES POTTER WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" Sirius and James gave each other frightened looks before looking behind them to see an extremely angry teacher.  
  
"Helping a friend," James answered a lot calmer then he felt.  
  
"LET THAT GO NOW!"  
  
"But..."  
  
"NOW"  
  
"Fine," James answered as he let go of the slingshot. Remus finally opened his eyes to see the flying stick shooting towards him. He let out a yell and ducked his head just in time. McGonagall looked furious. She grabbed James and Sirius by their ears.  
  
"Untie him," she barked at Peter who stumbled as he ran to his friend's aid.  
  
"Follow me," she ordered the two boys she didn't have by the ears. The started their journey towards the castle, up the many staircases and into McGonagall's office.  
  
"McGonagall we were only trying to help him pull his tooth!" James pleaded as McGonagall gave him a piercing stare.  
  
"Yes! He asked us to help him!" Peter exclaimed!  
  
"I don't care if he paid you three. I will not have my students tying each other to trees and pulling their teeth out with a slingshot."  
  
"It was all James's idea!" Sirius said.  
  
One hour later, after many lectures, telling offs and detention, the four walked solemnly and slowly towards the infirmary. McGonagall ordered Remus to get his tooth pulled by the nurse. He glanced outside where all the other students were talking, playing and pushing each other into the lake on the perfectly sunny day. He wished the weather reflected his mood. Finally he found himself at the entrance to the hospital wing. James, Sirius and Peter looked as if they were already at his funeral.  
  
"I'm glad that you all are here with me," he said dramatically. "Here at the end of all things." Then he turned to opened the door, but felt a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"We would have followed you to the end," James said with a perfectly serious look on his face.  
  
"Into the great evils of Madam Pomfrey's office," Sirius added.  
  
"I know," Remus said quietly. "Watch out for the others, especially Peter, he will not understand."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Go Remus," James and Sirius said as their friend opened the door. A bright light hit their eyes and they winced and turned away as Remus was swallowed up be the light. The door closed.  
  
Two hours later James, Sirius and Peter were playing exploding snap when Remus entered the common room.  
  
"Ooooooh! Can I see the tooth?" James and Sirius asked at the same time while jumping up in excitement.  
  
"She couldn't pull the tooth," Remus growled.  
  
"Don't be silly, Madam Pomfrey can do anything," Peter said.  
  
"She made me wait for about an hour while checking on Snape who somehow sprouted antlers and then she came and put a spell on my mouth so I couldn't bite down and tugged on the stupid tooth for a whole hour!" Remus yelled.  
  
"She couldn't pull a tooth!" the other three said in awe. Remus's face turned a tomato shade of red as he stomped to the second year boy's dorm. He collapsed on his bed, hitting his jaw hard on his pillow and fell asleep. A while later the other three boys entered the room, careful not to wake their friend. Peter glanced over at Remus and waved the other three over. Remus's mouth was slightly open and on his pillow was...  
  
The tooth.  
  
The end. 


End file.
